UTUBE OF MICES EATING MY FOOD

CHECK OUT THE MICES EATING AND DRINKING MY FOOD, WHILE I REST - CHEEKY LITTLE DEVILS
      
CLICK HERE:     http://youtu.be/Z8qlYmXx4gg

 

CRACKS IN THE DAM WALL

Fart burst through the door, and immediately went and sat on his litter tray.
Panic!  Nothing said ... I mean how would you feel.  Normally he comes in says hello has a stroke (no not a heart stroke - he gives me a stroke on the head), and then does his thing.

But this time straight into the litter room.
"There are cracks on the dam wall, Sootie," was his only comment to me.
Cracks in the dam wall - I started to panic.
"No not in the dam wall.  On the dam wall."
Silly fart. How can you get cracks on a dam wall and not in the dam wall.  "Don't panic Fart, get off your litter tray, speak sense man." God he frustrates me sometimes.

"There are dozens of cracks on the dam wall.  You know those little birds called 'Cracks', well they are wondering around the road across the dam wall."
Birds...cracks...the man IS losing it at last.  Cool it man..I need somebody to clean my litter tray, feed me, comb me and talk to me when I am lonely.

I have asked him for photos of these 'cracks'  - watch this space.

MOOZIES ARE MADE OF PYREX

Well, I have always said that there MUST be something going on with these moosies.  How do you get them all to look so much alike.

For all you townies, who do not see the truth, here is what really happens.

They are all pyrex calveses!

Yep what happens you see is that all the little cows when they are still in tadpoles size are injected into the mommy moozies.  They all have much the same bull daddy’s – even the cow daddies are full of bull – and kept in a big freezing milk urn.

Now I can sleep again at night, and during the day!  It was really worrying me.  All those moozies walking past the window, all looking the same.  It was like watching an old movie that had got stuck.

Come to think of it – I have not had any milk for quiet a while.

‘Fart, did you hear that?  I need milk now.  Thank you.’

Nothing like good manners and thanking the silly little man afterwards!

POOR FAR APART MOOZIES

I was sitting on the step last night watching the sun set.  Fart was sitting next to me.  He had just given me my evening brushing.

The sunset was lovely, the jackals had started laughing at each other and we had heard an owl call.  Lovely it was.

Then one of the moozies in the field next to our little cottage, started yelling really loud. 

Fart and I got such a fright!

Anyway a few seconds later the moozie yelled again.  Really loud it was.  I did not think anything of it when next thing there was a distant yell from afar.  Our moozie shouted back and the distant moozie responded.  They ended up have this long distance cell phone call – without the cell phone though, when last did you see a moozie using a cell phone.

Fart and I felt so sad.  Here were these two moozies calling each other like elephants and lions in the Serengeti.  So far apart, and through no fault of their own.  They might have been husband and wifey – like fart and my mummsy who live far apart and SMS each other everyday cause they love each other so much.

Shame Fart was sad I had to go and put my paw around his shoulders and give him a lick.

I love him so much.

BIRTHDAY QUEEN

Yep I turned 19 eleventy-twelve on the 30 of May.  Great hey? 

SOOO much beauty and knowledge all in this slim bod.  I feel like a well-preserved bottle of the finest champagne.

Fart gave me a three course meal of trout roe, trout salad and trout in milk for dinner.  I had to go lay down afterwards.  I had to lie on my back and lick my paws as I could not reach my important bits right after the meal.

Mummsy sent me so many cards.  I had cards from my kitty mummsy, my uncle Eddie and my sisters and even from Tombili the pesky monkey who we adopted in Tanzania.  He taight us about wild things and forests and the Serengeti.  He was lovely really although he would chase us all over and pull our tails and eat mummsies candle and poo in her hair.

‘Sooo now Fart! A bit more respect and combings please. thank you!'

I am going to go and sit in the sun  abit now, you have to get what you can these wintery days.

‘Ohh and Fart when you walk past scrape man scrape.  Just bend very low to the floor.’

You gotta see this mummsy, you will love it.

OUR LITTLE TOMOS AND MY CUZ

My Auntie Siwan sent this photo yesterday of our little Tomos with his uncle Hedd.  Isn't he just the greatest.  Of course my cuz Hedd is beautifu...sorry handsome as well!  THE BEST IN FACT!

MY EGG TOILET!

The other day fart said that he was going to buy me an 'igloo'.

Now I’ am a cat.  Some say that I am a beautiful, intelligent and loving cat.  Beautiful cause I looks like my mummsy, intelligent cause I thinks like my mummsy and loving cause that IS my mummsy.

BUT, I have an issue in that I do not even know what an igloo is.  I have my kitty loo tray which I have been using since I was a cuddly little kitten.  Sometimes if I am sitting in the garden and caught short, I leave my visiting cards in the garden.  Those are covered up and left neatly where they disturb nobody else.

Ever since we moved to South Africa, I have found that local’s accent a little bit discerning.  My great grand mummsy (on my mummsy’ side) had the same problem. When fart told her that he had, ‘tripped over a peg in the garden.’ She thought he had said pig.  Then he said to her ‘More is a nogger dag.’ - Afrikaans for- ‘tomorrow is another day’. She thought he had said ‘Morris is a rubber duck.’

Now we have this igloo thing.  Too me, and bearing the above in mind, that it sounds like a toilet for unhatched fowl eggs! Now – am I right or am I wrong.

Anyway, in ‘it’ (Fart) comes the other day, with an ‘igloo’. It is a ‘bed’ for me!

Now why could you cut out all the drama, stress and pulpatations you put me through and just tell me it is a ‘queen’s bed’.  Remember those beds with canopies?  Well that is what this reminds me of.  But it keeps me warm at night.

And I love it Fart.  You are such a love.

‘Silly old sod.’ – as mummsy would say.

I just love him....sometimes

BREATHING SKIN - WITH MOUTHS?

I was sitting on the doorstep this morning watching the moosies in the field across the road.  They were all standing - very still.  I actually think they were frozen solid. 

That is why God puts the sun out every twelve hours so that they can defrost.  Then I thought, well if the moosies are frozen, that means their milk is frozen. So it seems that the farmers and God are working hand in hand.

God, puts the sun up, farmer takes milk and then God takes sun away.  Strange set up.

Anyway, whilst they were standing there I noticed that they were covered in mist. 

Fart, he who knows all, said it was not mist but condensation.  He explained to me that if we breathe out of our mouths, we get the same stuff.

I thought a while - and my brain could just not get around it - so I said to him of all knowledge.

‘So what you are saying is that they have little open mouths all over their bodies?’

He burst out laughing, ‘N-o-o-o-o silly.  But we all have little holes in our skin.  These are called pores and our skin actually breaths.’

‘Y-a-a-a-a,’ I said, ‘pull the other one’.  ‘So when you go for a long walk, your skin starts panting and gets out of breath.  Unless of course you have fit skin?’

Fart looked up at the sky and went in to make another cup of tea.  Didn’t say a word.

I mean, why get the huff.  I am only a very beautiful innocent kitty cat.  You are my partner, I believe everything you say.  If you say skin breathes I believe you.

‘And Fart, I have four paws that I know about and each one of them have l-o-n-g S-H-A-R-P talons on them.  So watch it.  You silly little man.’

Sometimes, I just want to rip up his heated blanket!

THE GRASS IS IN SHOCK

Every year as winter arrives so the shock turns white. Fart says it is ‘frost’ and that it is actually dew. Make up your mind Fart. Really! I don’t care what you call it I call it shock. I mean Dew to what? Due to humans leaving it out there at night? Somebody, especially farmers, who’s moosies have to eat it, should look after it more so that it does not go into shock. Maybe, as I said earlier, if they covered the grass at night, or rolled it up and put it in their barns – moosies would have a better meal and farmers would not have to give them winter feed. H-u-m-a-n-s! I am going to start education classes. But if they are all as bad as fart then we have a major problem.
‘Bring the brushes Fart, time for my grooming.’

SPLASHY FEN - 2012

Well it has come and gone - another year of Fenners for the week-end. Thousands of tatood; young and happy folk to swell the coffers of our little stores and confuse the hell out of the locals. Us kitty cats are happy to be at peace with our Old Fart daddy's
Splashy Fen this year was very dry - luckily for the happy campers. The cold front is just starting to turn up now. Huge clouds coming over the mountains just like the blanket over Table Mountain, Fart says.
They will be back again next year - the Fenners. Just before ...

RHINOS AND GREED

Isn't terrible and a direct display of TOTAL ignorance, greed and how some people just do not have any feelings except for themselves.
All these poor rhinos being killed just for the tuft of hair on the end of their Jose's.
I think that all the kitty cats in the world should rise up and start the rumor that Chinese thumb nails, when mixed with...with...with Something is good for saving wild animals from distinguition.
Even the poor elefunts are suffering because people like carving their teeth into funny.shapes.
I am so glad Fart and mummsy have more intelligence and kind hearts.
Problem is our government thinks that the Chinese are so honourable. All these cruel nations and our government thinks they are great - just shows some things about our government hey.
Well back to spelling, Fart is teaching me to spell so I will be better than all these ignorant types.
I love you all anyway. Kiss kiss

IAN PACKHAM - 2

A couple of posts ago we spoke about the adventurer who is walking and using public transport around the coast of Africa.
I fell in love with him immediately. A quiet, gentle unassuming man. Not like the big boistrous type some of these travellers are. Fart was also very impressed and he is going to write some articles about this brave young man. Who I might mention is also VERY clever. He was on mastermind, the highly rated BBC quiz programme. None of you will remember me being on the programme - way before blogging, when we still lived in Horsham, England.
So Ian and I have something in common.
Are you listening fart - intelligence, brains!

I felt we were akin the moment I sat on the step next to him on the first evening.
You know the feeling - nothing has to be said, but you just know.

'FART - where's dinner?' (Some people, I will never understand).

LAZY WATER

We did not have water for about four days. Fart was quite happy about it. He would go down to the club in the early morning, have a swim and shower. He was doing the same in the afternoons. He had big plastic containers of water for our household needs.

This is not normal as we live out of town on a farm and all our water comes from a spring in the mountain behind us. But it is a long way away and the water is pumped through four tanks and at one stage is gravity fed (that sounds like a pipe with a bad cough!), it has to travel about five kilometres to us.

When the water was running through the taps again, Fart said 'Oh look Sootie, we have lazy water again.'
I asked him what he meant by 'lazy water'. He said, 'Well we don't have to go and fetch it, like millions of other people; it is clean unlike the water of millions of people. It just arrives ready for instant use. It makes people lazy.'

I just love him don't you?

TRAVELLING MUMMSY

Our mummsy is going on another cruise around the Mediterranean. The last cruise was, over Christmas and New Year, they cruised around the East Indies Islands.
The yachts they cruise on are very luxurious, just like our lovely mummsy. Lots of class, plenty champagne and seafood's.
Mummsy came home for three weeks in February. She is looking so trim, slim and beautiful.
Well what do you expect, she is our mummsy.

IAN PACKHAM - AFRICAN ADVENTURER

I am sitting in Kokstad, Eastern Cape waiting to pick up Ian Packham who is travelling around the entire COAST of Africa. He is doing this by using any local transport available. His website www.encircleafrica.org.
He has travelled down the west coast of Africa from England, to Cape Town. He is now on the homeward leg up the east coast. He will be spending a couple of days with me before moving on.
Will update you.

TOMOS MORUS

My grandson born of my son Gwilym and his lovely lady, Lucy. A big lad and already very aware and checking out his surroundings. Obviously very happy with where he is.
GREAT - A VERY PROUD PERSON I AM!