NOZIE NEIGHBOURS MOOZING AROUND

So, besides blue fish, bats and bouncers. I have met more types of intelligentia. Well one is. The other, which I am going to talk about now, is questionable. Our neighbours, who come and go, live ten feet away. Fart calls them ‘dairy cows’. I call them ‘ dreary neighbours’. I mean, all they do is stand on the other side of the fence, staring at us with huge brown eyes, mumbling sweet nothings to each other and dribbling noses. ‘They are not mumbling to each other,’ says Fart, ‘they are chewing the cud.’ Good old super sensitive hearing Fart, who is hard of hearing anyway – hey mummsy? And don’t tell them this, I think their choice of fashion is despicable. I do believe they go to the same tailor as well. They are all in black and white jerseys. ‘So what do you think of the neighbours?’ Fart said. My nether regions suddenly needed licking. Fart got the point, ‘OK, you don’t have to be rude,’ He said ‘but remember that is where milk comes from.’ Milk, MY Milk comes from them. Instant retching fit. Then belly laughing. Having a fit of the two simultaneously can be tricky, believe me. My milk could not come from anything as boring, dirty and brain dead as them things. To keep it simple I just said, ‘Fart MY milk is white, they eat green grass.’ Suddenly, another itch around my nether regions. God – so simple that little man, I said to my bits.