COW CALVES

Fart came back, put me on his lap and showed me some pictures of cow calves’s. (On the right – two of them).
COW calves’s? The only calves’s I know are human ones! Ones that hang from the knees and which stop the foots going walk about on their own.

AND, the human ones are in so many colours and shapes with bruises and fur on them they look ‘AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH’. Puke ... fur balls. Know what I mean?
So when I saw these calves’s – well...my old heart just turned to butter. Remember when I was a little poo like these, mummsy? AHHHHHH cute.
MUCH better than human calves’s`

By the way Fart – butter is that yellow stuff you sauté TROUT,...you know TROUT. Well trouts is what you sauté in butter. T-R-O-U-T.

All together now – come on my fans around the world – One and two and three

Throw in the trout...
...Fart.
Throw in the trout.
Uhhh, uhhh, uhhh
Throw in the TROUT
Fart. Throw in the trout.

That is what I have my worldwide fan base for – to ensure that fart maintains my standard of living.

I think I might go into poli-tics. That means fowl on one day and trout on the next. Get it poli ... parrot! HAR HAR HAR.

So, what now, I get bored after sing alongs ... think I am going to go and kick fart’s glass of wine over. He’s sitting on the porch watching the sun set over the snow clad peaks of the Drakensberg ... and mopping. He has lovely legs and calves’s though, has our fart ... for a silly little man! More Har har’s.
It was minus 13 degrees this morning. So fart told me ... I was still in bed at mid-day. I believe anything he says at 5 o’clock in the morning. His problem, not mine. As long as my breakfast is there ON TIME, at the END OF THE BED, next to the BOWL OF MILK. ARE YOU LISTENING FART!!