The Pot Hole

When the schooling fraternity finally had enough of me, I went walk about. Whilst in Walvis Bay, Namibia I discovered the original pothole.
These potholes were sub-street level, dangerous to drivers and pedestrians, with the ability to destroy you and your car. Much the same as the potholes we have today. The only difference being, that one could join others in getting totally wrecked on the greener variety of pot. I kid you not.

These days if truck fumes or an unroadworthy, overcrowded, speeding taxi driven by an unlicensed, drunk, under age driver with a gun (allegedly) does not get you. The dreaded pothole will.
One needs to have been on a ‘crash course’ in F1 chicane manoeuvres, not to end up with a steering wheel the shape of a pretzel through desperation driving whilst negotiating many roads.

South African potholes have gained world tourism status. Roibeárd Mac Giolla Phádraig, from Ireland, has placed a mention on his famous blog about the ‘big’ hole in Kimberley.
In Sheffield England, a gentleman returned to his vehicle to find that the workers had placed asphalt around the tyre of his car whilst attempting to fill a pothole, in which he had advertently parked.
A Politian, in Hillcrest, is blaming these implosions on the high activity on a breed of alien Nigerian mole, recently smuggled into South Africa. (Allegedly)

In Johannesburg, it is possible to phone the ‘Jo burg Pothole Brigade’! (www.potholebrigade.co.za). Having discovered a pothole, you call them; on arrival they will shove a patch over your hole. If they have been paid that is, bearing in mind that the city of Johannesburg is now bankrupt. This process was developed twenty-five ago in New Zealand and has been used in various countries around the world for the last fifteen years.
According to a representative. Over 13,000 potholes (and counting) have become deceased since August 2010. But disturbingly the potholes have reached such a high population, they are now breeding faster than the brigade can patch them.
They are managing to fill 5,000 potholes per month (with no end in sight). The Brigade would do more, but they are limited, as the spray can only be applied at sub-taxi/construction vehicle speed.


I was thinking, that if the Provincial Roads Department could see its way clear to supply us with our own ‘little pothole kits’ we could, as private tax payers, assist them in rectifying the pothole problem.
We could all have our own little backpacks of road mending materials. We would be supplied with a high visibility jacket and a self-assemble ‘road works ahead’ sign - so people can safely nip out and make temporary repairs to their streets. Obviously, we would need one of those enormous felt-tip permanent marker pens to draw fluorescent lines round the potholes. Ahhh, we could then start ‘inter-municipality pothole’ hopscotch.
I still prefer the original pothole. Everybody was friendly, stoned – without throwing them - and you got what you paid for from the owner who was just as stoned.

Published - Mountain Echo May 2011